Livi's Little Bubble

Warning: There is talk of sex, kink and polyamory in this post! If you’re going to be offended, don’t read it!

Note: “play” does not have to mean sex, one can play without sex.

I’ve always been one of those girls who dreams of the perfect life, with the perfect husband, in the perfect house in the suburbs with the perfect children. I’ve been a big believer in soul mates and “the one,” however, recently I’ve been chatting to a couple of people (1 of whom is the reason for the constant smile on my face!) who don’t have a “traditional” relationship and I’ve slowly warmed to the idea of polyamory. Don’t think I don’t see you there judging me! I honestly never thought I’d even consider it but it makes total sense to me now. There’s a saying, is there not, that “no one is perfect” so how can you get everything you need from one person?

Now I’m not sure whether I could have someone else live with my partner and I, I do quite like to be the centre of their world! But playing with other people who I/we have a connection with seems logical. I very briefly toyed with the idea of marrying someone who wasn’t kinky, massively broadening my dating pool, and playing elsewhere but that got chucked out pretty quickly, I’m all about the 24/7 kink! But being co-topped or co-bottoming (I’m pretty sure that’s not the word!) so my partner was involved too seems like a perfect world to me.

Maybe it’s silly of us to think that if our partner loves someone else they must love us less. Those of you with children can, I’m sure, testify that you do not “share” a set amount of love between them, but each time a new one is born more love appears, much like the love for you partner is not reduced so that you have some love for your child. Why should love for romantic partners be any different? Of course this is by no means an excuse for cheating and affairs, whichever way you look at it that is betrayal, but if, after a serious discussion with your partner, you both decide to bring someone else into your bedroom or your life there should be nothing wrong with that.

I’m pretty sure there’s a lot of people out there who are shocked by the idea, a couple of years ago I was one of you, but now I’m secure and happy in myself it’s just not an issue. It’s not going to be for everyone, everyone involved needs to be mature and totally honest. I’m not going to throw out the “we were never meant to be monogamous” line, some of us where, but I’m not sure if I’m one of them.

Would love your opinions on this topic. Also pondering a sex/kink related series, maybe one post a week (read: month given how lax my blogging is at the moment!) about something kinky? What do we think?

This week’s Gallery post from Tara is “One day in August”, the day being Sunday 29th, because that was the day that 3 mummy bloggers left the safety of Britain, their homes and their family lives to venture to Bangladesh to try to change the world.

I took this photo today part way through removed my face mask. I can afford a face mask. I can spend 10 minutes lying on a comfy bed, listening to music, tweeting, enjoying those luxuries, and I do it while millions of children die purely because they live in poverty. Their parents don’t have the luxury of clean water or food, let alone 5 minutes to look after themselves, they spend every minute fighting to keep their children alive. Many of them fail.

I know I’m no doubt boring you with posts begging you to sign the petition to convince that LibDem idiot to make child mortality and maternal health a priority at the UN summit, but I don’t care! It’s important!

If you’ve got some spare pennies you can donate to Save the Children too, either in cash or by dropping off unwanted goods to their charity shops (obviously I’d quite like you to split your unwanted goods between them and Hope House but you know!)

Those of you cool enough to use twitter can of course get yourself a twibbon to tell everyone that you’re supporting the cause. There’s also a daily newspaper type thing that will keep you informed of all the Blogladesh goings on and you just need to go here to check that out and sign up. And if you’re feeling in the mood to badger someone it would be much appreciated if you could tweet any celebrities you follow to try to get them to retweet the #Blogladesh hashtag and the link to Save the Children.

#Blogladesh is using the power of social networking to spread the word so please blog about it, facebook about it, tweet about it, spread the word. Three mummy bloggers are trying to change the world, go help them!

Boy, the last time I blogged was Wednesday! That is a long time for me! *waves* I hope you’re all still here! I’ve been a busy girl of late, no excuse I know, but tough! I’m here now!

So Blogladesh is under way now, the fantastic mummies are flying out there right now, they’ve been championing the cause all over and Josie has been on the radio talking about it, you can listen here, her and her gorgeous voice make an appearance at 1hr 04mins. Please go and sign the petition over on facebook, it won’t take you a minute to tell the government that you want change and it wont cost you a penny. If you’re on twitter (like I am every minute of the day!) then you can pop a twibbon on your picture and show everyone else that you’re supporting them too! They’re not asking for your money, or even for your time, just for you to use click a button, that’s it. Please!

See, I’m supporting the cause on twitter!

In other news: I’m a happy bunny! That is all

Last night I was shocked, truly shocked, by the discussion going down on twitter. Women, gorgeous, stunning, amazing women hating on their boobs. Women who I would certainly not kick out of bed! Women who could easily strut down a catwalk or get their bits out in the Sun!

And so #TheGreatBoobDebate evolved, Jay declaring she wanted a boob job because breastfeeding has made them saggy, Josie and Amy crying out for better boobs, or boobs at all and fortunately Aly yelling “No to boob jobs!” So this week I’m ducking out of The Gallery to do a #BoobieWeds post with a twist, rather than just reminding you to check your boobs, I’m going to tell you to love them!

Every Wednesday on twitter tonnes of ladies (and gents) get their tits out to remind people to check themselves, so while you’re checking why not take a real good look; look at the shape of them, the curves that they give you, the femininity they exude. Feel them, feel their softness, feel why your husbands/partners/random folks love to touch them. Those stretch marks that you hate so much are a sign that you brought life into the world, that sag that you can’t stand is a sign that you fed that life, there’s nothing more sexy and natural than that.

If you have small boobs, just thank whatever deity you choose that you’re not risking back problems! If you have huge boobs be thankful that you can turn heads with just your rack! Your boobs are just that; yours! No one else has ones like you and the second you start putting silicone and whatever else in them that’s taken away.

Ladies you all need to get ‘em out and be proud! You all look stunning!

(Oh yes, my #boobieweds pic is conservative this week!)

This is what I love about the Secret Post Club, today I woke up to a parcel from Norway, more specifically from Miss Carina!

Oddly, despite the “signature required” sticker, they posted it!

Lookey lookey what I got! So far I have just munched the chocolate and OH MY GOD was it good! Cadbury’s has got nothing on that stuff!

On Saturday I met up with my lovely ginger friend in Birmingham to do some shopping! The last time I went was for the BBB (NSFW!) a whole year ago, oh how things have changed, but anyway! My ginger friend, M, and I had a lovely day! He’s going on holiday soon so we had to hunt down summer clothes in Autumn! *Sigh* men suck at shopping! We did succeed though, we even got some sandals for him.

For the rest of the day we did some sightseeing, wandering round the museum (which wasn’t especially thrilling, not a patch on Manchester’s) and saw Victoria Square. We had a nice lunch, complete with a pitcher of Woo Woo, in Wetherspoons and spent about 2 hours drinking and chatting in the pub at the station. It was great to see him and catch up, I had a fab day and I’ve popped some photos up on my flickr!

By my gallivanting has nothing on the Blogladesh crew! I blogged about it before and now there’s only a week before they jet off for Save the Children to raise money and awareness for the millions of children dying in poverty every year. Please go follow the mummies who are going Josie, who is an inspiration for me, Eva and Sian, they’ll keep you up to date with what’s going on. If you want to know how you can help just pop over and check this post out and sign the petition on facebook. It wont take you a minute to click the links and find out what it’s all about, it’s going to be huge and you can be a part of it.

Just because I’m smiling you think that I’m better, that I’m coping. You hear my laughter and think that nothing can bring me down, that I am in “remission.” You read my cheerful blog posts and chirpy tweets and assume that it’s gone away, left me to recover for a little while. It hasn’t.

I’m chatty. I’m social. I enjoy being with people again. Day to day I am happy at the moment: I’m full of joy and love, drowning in smiles rather than sorrow, but there is a reason.

I can’t focus on anything but today. If I look to tomorrow, next week, next month, my smile will fade. I see no future. I see nothing beyond the moment, because what can there possibly be? I was living my dream. I had a future, a reason for being, I had given myself entirely to someone. I had my happy ending. I had found my “one”, he left.

It is not a lack of confidence: I am happy with myself, with who I am, with how I look. I am a good person, a good partner. My focus on others is not because I don’t care for myself, it is because nothing fills me with more warmth than to make someone else’s life easier. Nothing fulfils me more than living for someone else.

It saddens me that we live in a world where that fact alone makes people think that I’m ill. That wanting to look after others, to help them, to dedicate my life to someone I love, makes me mentally ill. Is this the modern equivalent of homosexuality? After years of “treating” this will people suddenly realise that there’s nothing wrong with it and that it is, in fact, a valid life choice.

So in the mean time I am bringing new meaning to the phrase “one day at a time” and maybe one day it wont hurt any more.